14 Apr 2014 – Confidence
“I wanna know where my confidence went, one day it all disappeared. Daytime’s a drag, night time’s worse”… Blue Rodeo
I think my age is setting in and with that comes a sense of mortality. I guess that’s normal at some stage in life. But I hate it. I used to feel like I could take on the world…now I’m just tired. Where ever it went, I hope it comes back at some point.
The same holds true with courage….what is it and how does one measure it? These are thoughts that have been floating through my head these past couple of days. I don’t have answers yet. I think I will wait for some therapy to discuss these issues in greater length and try to figure it out.
Until then, I will try to push those thoughts aside and concentrate on getting through the next 26 days until I can get back to where I feel truly safe.
Yesterday papa pigeon left the egg unattended for a time, so I was able to get a half decent picture of it. They say it takes a community to raise a child…well, I hope that I am considered a part of their community because yesterday I had to scare a crow away from their nesting area. He had landed right on the top of the AC where they are residing and started calling out to all those who would listen. I banged on the window and off he went…I haven’t seen him back or near there since. Let’s hope that he got the message….and I hope the pigeons get that I helped out.
Papa has been out on the ledge the last couple of days, doing what I would consider the courting dance…cooing, puffing up, circling…wonder who he is trying to woo…the rest of the flock of pigeons aren’t around anymore, so I can only assume they have gone off to nest as well. It’s interesting to watch and a good distraction for me to say the least. I watch them take a bath everyday on the kitchen window ledge, then a couple of times I’ve been able to watch them changing shifts. It’s really neat how they manipulate that egg so it fits in their brood patch. I have noticed that their nesting area is getting pretty messy though…wonder when they will do some housecleaning.
I am going to try to use my laptop to hook up the webcam and monitor things. That way any footage I get will be easily accessible and I can keep an eye on them without disturbing them too much…I really don’t want to miss the egg hatching if it’s possible.
Off to start another week, but this one will go quickly.
That’s it for today.
soldiermomma signing off.