8 February 2014 – Impending Doom


Does ESP exist? Scientists have been trying to figure this out for years. Are some people just more sensitive and in tune with their surroundings than others, giving them the ability to sense when things are out of balance, or when things are not “quite right”?

My therapist called it catastrophic thinking…the meaning of which is “ruminating about irrational worst-case 
outcomes”. The key word here is irrational and the other part suggests that it is a constant state of worrying about almost everything.

But what if that isn’t the case? What if you wake up one morning and everything seems rosy, the day is looking good, but for some reason you can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong..that something is going to happen that you can’t put your finger on? Don’t think I’m crazy, it happens to me a lot…it happened yesterday. But I didn’t expect that the justification of my sense of impending doom would come in the form that it did…I had sluffed the feeling off as paranoia from being where I am. I should listen more closely when that happens although it wouldn’t do any good. When I try to convey to people that something is not right, I get weird looks, so I usually don’t bother anymore. 

And so here’s another scenario…I keep telling my husband I worry about him being there all alone and travelling back and forth to work everyday while I’m away..not because he’s a bad driver, but because everyone else is. This morning I find out that he had to take the ditch because a logging truck came around a corner on a back road and slid out of control…did I MAKE that happen because of my negative thoughts (as some would think I have the power to do) or was it some sort of ESP or foreshadowing that made me think of that scenario specifically….because it’s the only one that I worry about…I don’t worry about the house catching on fire, I don’t worry about a ski-doo accident, I don’t worry about him hurting himself at work…there are so many things I could be worried about, but that vision was the one that stuck with me. 

So, you want to hear another good one? December 15th, the date the crisis in South Sudan took hold, I was out at the UN base birding with my Danish friend. We went early, and this particular day, there were soldiers and police in larger numbers than previous trips…at 0730 am, that seemed a bit unusual…I mentioned it to my friend, and he said “as long as they are not bothering us, not a big deal”. So I said okay, but I remember feeling nervous and on edge that morning. At about 9 am, I started to hear a commotion close by…it honest to god sounded like a Pow Wow…there was drumming and chanting, loud voices…it sounded like a party…my friend and I both wondered what the commotion was about. This lasted for the entire time we were there and near the end, before we left, the drumming had taken on a decidedly African beat and feel.

We went back and I resumed normal routine but I did mention these things at the house dinner we had that night. My boss corroborated my story because he had taken a drive to the same area and heard it as well. No one paid any particular attention to it and said it was probably nothing to worry about. 

Three hours later, the shit hit the fan and since then there have been reports of drumming and partying prior to an attack. 

ESP? You tell me.

That’s it for today.

soldiermomma signing off


About lbidal

I am an average woman, of average age, leading an average life...at least on the surface. Sixteen years ago, I chose to spice up the average-ness of my life by putting on combat boots. Some of my blogs reflect my experiences while wearing them. Some blogs are of my passion and hobby, birding and bird photography...and some, well, can't help but blogging about average things living an average life! Enjoy!

Posted on February 8, 2014, in South Sudan. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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